LETTER: Ironic Links Between Tuition and Lifestyle

To the Editor:

I thoroughly enjoyed the recent edition of TRADITION, which analyzed American Orthodoxy’s material success and luxury-driven lifestyle along with the attendant spiritual challenges (“Tradition Today Summit: Material Success and its Challenges,” Spring 2024). From the various articles, it seems that the material success in the Modern Orthodox community has led to a degree of “Glatt Kosher” hedonism and, even worse, hedonism masquerading as religiosity.

However, one subject that seemed to be missing from the analysis was the effect of Day School tuition and other expenses of living in an Orthodox community on the consumerism culture.

Multiple articles highlighted yeshiva tuition as the greatest expense of any Orthodox family, while also noting how yeshivot are better than ever. I have often wondered if the Haredi elementary school education and the Modern Orthodox high school education I had thirty years ago are inferior to current Modern Orthodox schools. However, one could argue it is precisely the high cost of tuition that drives the culture of consumerism.

Most Orthodox families need to earn at least $300-500 thousand a year just to afford tuition, as stated in Yossi Prager’s article. This financial pressure pushes many into a limited range of high-paying professions, often requiring long working hours. These professional life choices come with religious trade-offs and necessitate additional childcare, further raising the income required just to break even. (I am leaving aside other serious complicating issues, such as the psychological and spiritual effects of gerrymandering an entire community’s career paths and what that does to personal satisfaction and self-actualization—to say nothing of yirat shamayim.)

Once a professional needs to earn such a large income just to fulfill the basic requirements of an Orthodox Jew, it becomes very difficult for that person not to adopt a luxury-filled lifestyle. Expenses such as luxury cars, dining out, and high-end vacations are a drop in the bucket compared to Day School tuition and other expenses of an Orthodox Jew in the United States. It becomes difficult for families not to indulge in such a lifestyle, despite its spiritual costs.

At the same time, it is important to recognize that research shows income and wealth inequality reduce life satisfaction and contribute to adverse mental health outcomes. Once basic needs are met, it is often the perception of poverty—rather than actual poverty—that leads to dissatisfaction and depression. In other words, even individuals with relatively high incomes may feel impoverished when comparing themselves to their more affluent peers or neighbors, which then amplifies feelings of dissatisfaction.

It is psychologically challenging to forgo a luxurious lifestyle when non-Jewish colleagues with similar incomes (but without the financial burden of Orthodoxy) are granting such luxuries to their families.

R. Jeremy Weider and Dr. Erica Brown both noted that rabbis have been hesitant to openly criticize this consumer culture. However, such hesitancy is understandable when considering the financial demands of an Orthodox lifestyle. It is difficult to request families to pay costly synagogue membership dues and oppose charter schools while simultaneously condemning career choices that enable them to afford yeshiva tuition and synagogue membership (and still vacation on the side).

On a personal level, our family did attempt to limit our luxury-based expenses, such as by renting an apartment in a less affluent (and higher-crime) neighborhood, leasing a cheaper car, etc., to save money to make Aliya (8.5 years ago). However, I am skeptical if we could have kept this up on a long-term basis had we remained in the United States.

I recognize that addressing the American tuition crisis is well beyond the scope of the recent issue of TRADITION. I am neither in a position to propose a solution to such a complex problem nor certain that a viable solution even exists. However, it should be acknowledged that the financial burden of providing a Jewish education is itself a major driver of the consumerist lifestyle, which in turn contributes to the religious challenges and spiritual harm associated with such a lifestyle. It may seem ironic, but the career choices required to provide a Jewish education may themselves engender a lifestyle that undermines the very messages we hope to communicate to our children through that education.

Aryeh Dienstag